My underlying goal in working with couples is to help each person in the relationship know that they are heard by their partner. So many of the problems couples face come from misunderstandings that build on each other. Our relationships frequently take on a shape like a house, and we build roles, habits, and expectations within that structure without even knowing we’ve constructed them. Once there, they can feel rigid and inflexible — but they don’t have to be.
I help people question the preconceived ideas they have about the other and engage with their partner with curiosity. Learning to ask questions, trust the answers, and express one’s own desires is an important step in strengthening intimacy, closeness, and excitement. When couples are working together to understand each other and their dynamics, it’s easier for them to return to a place of empathy and appreciation, to explore or rebuild the sexual aspects of the relationship, and to experience or re-experience partnership as a source of mutual support and pleasure.